Wednesday, February 27, 2008


The weather here in Ohio can make you do crazy things. Recently, after riding by a local Tim Hortons on our BigWheels, my friend A and I saw an unattended ambulance with its engine running. Neither of us needed to prod the other and we soon upgraded to the better ride. Unable to decide who should steer, we decided to share the responsibility.

Where did we steer? Lately, my dad had been saying a lot that "New Mexico is coming". So I decided to convince A to head there with me and beat New Mexico to the punch. Alas, we ran out of gas and, being too short to operate a gas pump, "borrowed" some motor bikes from a road stop in Indiana. Here I am on my "hog". My Grandpa J would be so proud of me!

When the motor bikes ran out of gas, A and I realized we had no money, no food, and no fuel. Bouyed by hearing "Miss Independent" from Kelly Clarkson on the radio, we took jobs. Below, you can see my first job was mowing lawns in Des Moines, Iowa.
This didn't strike my fancy for long and after making enough to fuel up our "hogs" we took off again. We ran into trouble in Wyoming when our bikes broke down. Desperate for cash we decided to take a dishwashing job like Laura did while in college in "Little House on the Prarie". Here I ponder how my youthful indiscretion left me so far from home and my wonderful dad.
Taking advantage of Greyhound's Frequent Rider program, A and I were able to get to to Seattle, Washington for only $13 dollars each. Once there, we took jobs as fish sorters at the docks. The job was stinky and no fun. The smell soon awoke our senses and we used a telephone to call my dad. Enough of this working my way across the USA! Let New Mexico come to us!
My dad upon answering the telephone leaped into his car and came and got the both of us. Back at home, I spend some quality time with my dad looking through the atlas. I excitedly pointed to New Mexico and told him that's where we were headed. He shook his head and said New Mexico had come up so often because that's what we planned on naming my brother. Whoops!

Monday, February 18, 2008

A Hairy Situation

What started as a normal playgroup date with friends A, A and B took an unusual turn last week. Below the Fantastic Four are pictured tearing apart M's house.

Things soured quickly as, curiously, M's hair began to grow at an accelerated rate. Also, B glued her face in the noodle strainer. Below you can see that M's hair is so long she was unable to identify her own friend B and comes racing out of the kitchen terrified!
The hair kept growing and, finally, M begged her mother. "Please save me I can't see!"
The quick solution was to carry M around upside down. For the first few days of her bat-like existence, M enjoyed the new view of the world...
On day 8, M felt a little light headed and requested a new solution.
The new solution? The Beauty, Hair, Spa, Massage, Manicure, Pedicure, and Piercing Academy. Here M looks at her long bangs one last time as the stylist prepares to cut.
Oh the humanity. M cries as she realizes she now looks like Lloyd and everyone else who ever had their bangs trimmed with a bowl over her head. You can see the bald manager in the background not giving any sympathy. He later muttered, "I wish I had some bangs." M's mom on the other hand felt inspired to change the lyrics to a Ricky Martin song and is quietly singing "Her bangs, Her bangs. They are so gone. So gone..."
After crying it out, M realized that being able to see vastly improved her life. And so ends the hairy situation.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sweden Low

M has recently grown several inches and now wants to eat at the table like a civilized person. In order to finance a new chair, she responded to an ad in the newspaper asking for adventurers to fight a criminal menace in Sweden. The director of the program said she could buy any chair she wanted at the end of her tour. So she said yes. Her first job was to learn to ride the special form of transportation unique to Sweden -- the reindeer.

After weeks of training, however, it was determined that she didn't possess the killer instinct to ride with the "Reindeer Calvary". The calvary had been hunting Herr Stor (Mister Big in Swedish), the leader of the crime syndicate. Here M reacts to the news. "I let my new chair slip out of my grasp!"

Not to worry. The director liked M and gave her a new job that consisted of taking care of some of the local wildlife. Here M needs to drag tranqulized animals back to the wild in a special sleigh after scientific testing.

In not one of her prouder moments, M dumps all the animals in one place and quickly returns to home base. She explains, "It was really, really cold." Needless to say she was removed from this job as well. It looks as though M won't get her new chair after all...

The director didn't send her home but did move her to KP. M shows that her true life skill might involve crafting deserts. This one is called Sir Twix-A-Lot Sloppy Style. It involves ThinMint Ice Cream liberally covered with Twix candy bars and chocolate syrup (pictured below). Plain Sir Twix-A-Lot is served with out the chocolate syrup. After tasting this dish, the director went into a chocolate stupor. When he awoke and asked for the recipe, M saw her chance....

M traded the recipe for a new booster seat that fits under the table allowing her to eat with Dad and Mom.

Ahh! Drinking in the success.

Thanks Aunt JKC!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Happy Birthday S

What's behind me?

...and the wide shot reveals a party for S!
Most of the party S looked a tad bored.
But some chocolate fixed that up!
M also got to see her pseudo-cousins eight times removed. The twins are property of the NC Dubyks. They are in NC to go to pharmacy school. They hope to use part of their income to fund the purchase of more traditional vowels for their last name.